This summer I took a few of my Student Leaders on a local missions trip in Kenmore called Project Shine. These were students I had been investing in on a regular basis. Throughout the week I had many opportunities to talk with them and build into them. At different times during the week three of my students ended up surrendering their lives to Christ! This was a wonderful week of seeing God at work, and I was so blessed and refreshed by it.
Another amazing thing I got to witness was multiple baptisms. Some involved people from the small church that has started at First Glance called Tattoo Church. It is amazing to get to see God move amongst the people in this community in ways we can not take credit. I also got to see one of my student leaders get baptized and give his testimony a few weeks ago. It was awesome to be able to see him clearly articulate his faith and point to people who are first glance leaders as people who directed him to Christ. What a blessing to be a part of that.
I have also been able to completely revamp the Student Leader Program, participate in Man Up, Co-lead a Rec Night, help lead Open Plate and Tattoo Church, partner with other local churches through prayer and reaching students, and build relationships with people in the community. When Taylor and I consider all we have done and seen in the past year we clearly feel that God has called us to Kenmore for the foreseeable future. That being said, I knew that as we were getting married I would need to make some sort of a change in my life in order to be able to give more time to our marriage. After thinking and praying about it, I felt that I had two options. One, I could continue to work full time at First Glance, and completely leave working at the Fire Dept. After all I originally had planned to quit the Fire Dept. after we were debt free and in position to do so financially. The other option would be to step down from a full time support based position at First Glance, to an extended staff role, still running Student Leaders and being involved in the organization, while going back to working full-time hours at the Fire Department and seeking to become full time at other departments. Both would give me more time for Taylor, but the fire dept. would give me more time for a future family, as well as plenty of time for ministry.
I spent many months praying about it, trying to surrender my own will in the matter and seeking only what God desired for me and my family. This is generally the hardest part but the most important part in making a decision, and once you do this, you are but a little way from knowing God's will (George Muller). Apparently I was not ready to do this, as I have probably been praying about this decision for a good 4-5 months and even more seriously for the past couple months, and I have only finally come to peace with a decision and feel like God has lead me to it. Let me detail a few of the final points in a long process on how God lead me in this direction. The apostle Paul clearly says in 1 Cor 9:14 that as a minister of the Gospel you have a right to earn a living from it. But in fact if we read through the whole of the 9th chapter, we see that Paul doesn't actually use this right and instead earns his living making tents. This is something I have always identified with, and wanted to be more like Paul, and was always challenged with what it could look like to be a missionary in this way. Paul at times was supported by churches, but he never seemed to ask for it or demand it. Towards the end of the process God finally revealed that this was something he had placed on my heart for a long time, but I did not realize that this was the real heart of the issue I was struggling with. I had previously thought that the reason I was having this issue was that I may not have trusted God to provide but as I kept seeking God's will, I realized that I really did trust him to provide. I was willing to work at First Glance full time, raising support for as long as he called me too, and I knew he would provide. However as I considered all these things I realized that although I loved working at First Glance and I loved working at Camp Carl before that, both times working in full time ministry I was never quite fulfilled by doing it. Something always felt like it was not quite right, that even though serving God was the only thing I could find worth doing on this earth, the only thing that really fulfills my purpose, I didn't ever feel quite complete in making my living from it.
All of this lead me to believe that God was calling me to step out of getting paid to work out First Glance, and go back to working full time hours at the Fire Department, while seeking full time employment at a Fire Dept. , wherever God opens a door. Hopefully some day it will be in the very community I am called to minister in. But only God knows the future and I am slowly learning to feebly grasp his hand, and trust where he is leading just for the moment, instead of always trying to demand the map from my all-knowing guide. As I step down, I feel the fire dept. schedule will still allow me time to fulfill the ministry God has called me to at First Glance and in Kenmore, maybe even to a better and more effective way then before since this is where God is leading. It will also give me more freedom to spend time with my beautiful wife, who is also my partner in ministry, and who with these new changes will be taking an increased role in helping lead the Student Leader Program at First Glance. We both believe he has called us to minister full time with our lives, and Kenmore is where he has currently called us, and we want to be faithful to wherever that call is, as well as being faithful to missionally live at both of the places where we earn our incomes.
So what does this mean for you, the people who have faithfully supported me through prayer and monetarily as I seek to follow God boldly where he leads. Well, first I would still love your support through prayer. As I continue in the ministry God has called me to in Kenmore, I will still have many of the same responsibilities, especially with the Student leader Program. Pray for wisdom for Taylor and I as we seek to raise up leaders in the community, and more importantly to point them to Christ. Pray for endurance and strength for us, as inner city work is far from easy, and often with very little encouragements. Also pray that we would love each other as Christ loved the church and that through this, people would be drawn to his love. Another thing I would love is for you to join with me if you are local. First Glance can always use more volunteers, wherever you are passionate and gifted, and I would love to help you get connected in a place where God's love is so desperately needed.
While I still need this support from you even at the same level or more than before, I will not be taking your gift of monetary support anymore. Effective Nov 1st, anything that you donate to me will be given to First Glance's general operating funds. This means you can do one of two thing before then. You can decide to stop giving entirely. This means that you need to cancel your automatic payments, or just stop sending your monthly check. Make sure you do this before November 1st if you want to do this. If you take this option I also want you to know that if you feel you want any of your money back that I have already received, if you feel that I have not fulfilled my role in ministry by stepping down early, I will humbly give money back to you. I apologize if any of you feel this way. Your other option is to continue giving to First Glance. I will still be very much a part of the organization, and any money you give will help support the mission of First Glance. Just continue your giving as you normally would, and your money will automatically be switched from my name to First Glance. We could definitely use your continued support as giving has significantly dropped since last year. Thank you in advance for those of you who continue to bless me and the ministry I have been called to in this way.
I would love to meet with any of you or talk with you on the phone, explaining more of how I know this is what God has called me to and how I have seen him work over the past year. Also I want to remind you again to continue to follow my blog at www.mypartintheepic.blogspot.com. I will be updating it ith prayer requests, stories, and how God is molding and teaching me.
Love as a fellow laborer in Christ,
Benjamin Rahe
Leading a student leader meeting!
